Reed A. Cartwright posted Entry 913 on March 29, 2005 12:00 PM.
Trackback URL: http://www.pandasthumb.org/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.fcgi/911

http://www.pandasthumb.org/archives/stevesteve/stevesteve.jpgI am here to introduce to you a new contributor to the Panda’s Thumb.

Prof. Steve Steve holds the B. Amboo Chair in Creatoinformatics at the University of Ediacara.  He has been nominated five times (only twice by himself) for the Nobel Prize and has received six Barnes and Noble gift certificates.  He is an J.D.-M.D.-quintuple Ph.D. (biology, chemistry, literature, mathematics, and philosophy).  He has been called the Izaak Walton of information theory and the Ulysses S. Grant of drinking contests.  His dissertation on the mating habits of the rufous-throated creationists of northern Alabama has been called “revolutionary,” “a tour de force,” and “nonstop, bodice-ripping action from the first page to the second page.”

At this time of year, Prof. Steve Steve is normally teaching ten classes, writing twenty papers, and directing Noh theatre; however, he recently received the Walker Prize for Walkabouts and has taken a sabbatical to travel the world exploring nature, academia, and the quality of beer in faraway places.  He intends to send letters of his journey back to the Panda’s Thumb keeping us informed of his adventure.

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Comment #22428

Posted by Bill on March 29, 2005 12:21 PM (e)

Panda, eh? So, where’s his thumb? Huh?

The problem I see is that there’s not enough satire. Everybody’s so serious. Personally, I don’t care if Kansas produces a biologist ever again. Come on, we’ve got 49 other states to work with.

Comment #22437

Posted by Bayesian Bouffant on March 29, 2005 1:02 PM (e)

His dissertation on the mating habits of the rufous-throated creationists of northern Alabama has been called “revolutionary,” “a tour de force,”…

You spelled farce incorrectly.

Isn’t this post about 3 days early?

Comment #22438

Posted by Rilke's Grand-daughter on March 29, 2005 1:03 PM (e)

“Sweet smoke of rhetoric” - Love’s Labours Lost

And what professional societies does he belong to?

Comment #22441

Posted by Bayesian Bouffant on March 29, 2005 1:07 PM (e)

Rilke's Grand-daughter wrote:

And what professional societies does he belong to?

The Bear-aminology Study Group, founding member.

Comment #22444

Posted by LeeFranke on March 29, 2005 1:12 PM (e)

Also a member of the Grin-n-Bear-it Society.
and a frequently donates time to the “Privacy For Our Woods Action Committee” (ok that one is a bit obscure, sorry)

Comment #22445

Posted by Reed A. Cartwright on March 29, 2005 1:12 PM (e)

He doesn’t belong to professional societies. Professional societies belong to him.

Comment #22446

Posted by Russell on March 29, 2005 1:20 PM (e)

In addition to the Walker Prize, I believe Steve Steve has been nominated for the Gallupper Prize - for research demonstrating that scientific credibility is unrelated to public opinion polls.

Comment #22449

Posted by Greg on March 29, 2005 1:36 PM (e)

I believe Steve Steve was nominated for but did not receive the Simpleton Prize for Regress From Research and Discovery Into Real Realities as well. He was beat out by a koala bear whose thesis was that “them cells is way more compli-mi-cated than just little blobs-O-jelly; they go wee widgets and whatall throughout’em.”

Comment #22452

Posted by steve on March 29, 2005 1:43 PM (e)

Steves are a glorious bunch.

Comment #22459

Posted by Savagemutt on March 29, 2005 2:07 PM (e)

Don’t neglect his ground-breaking paper, “Do I sh*t in the Woods?”.

Turns out, yes.

Comment #22467

Posted by Rupert Goodwins on March 29, 2005 2:31 PM (e)

Clear proof of DD (Drunken Deshign). Did that bow-tie just happen knot itself in such a louche fashion? Using folding topographies and Markoff chain generation to model a drunkard’s walk, the probability of that goal being achieved given a stochastic process S of X(t), t is in T where for each t in T X(t) is random, and given that the state space of the stochastic process is the set of all possible values such that the random variables X(t) takes the referent represented by S, is one in ten to the power of B/Tau where B is the amount of beer drunk by Dr Steve Steve in the time Tau between arriving at the bar and being forcibly ejected.

Therefore, Boozedidit.

I propose that the DD theory of the Panda’s Tie be taught to all biology students as an alternative to Intelligent Design - it certainly has greater explicatory powers, given the Deshigner’s penchant for bodging systems, plugging in retinas back to front, slapping on random vestigial components and leaving quite so much rubbish from past projects littering the rocks. I propose further an immediate research project into the kind of booze consumed by the Deshigner, so an initial foray may be made into the competing theories of Buditit, the Martini Conjecture, Aleotropism and Grape Space Traversal. There is also a small but compelling chance of combining Guinness Crateionism and the problem of dark matter the morning after.

Cheers!

R

Comment #22473

Posted by Bob Maurus on March 29, 2005 2:51 PM (e)

LeeFranke wrote,”Also a member of the Grin-n-Bear-it Society, and frequently donates time to the “Privacy For Our Woods Action Committee” (ok that one is a bit obscure, sorry)

Actually, Lee, Professor Steve is a member of the Grin-n-BARE-it Society, which is why he donates time to the “Privacy For Our Woods Action Committee.”

Comment #22494

Posted by Reed A. Cartwright on March 29, 2005 4:08 PM (e)

I’ve moved off topic posts to the BW.

Comment #22499

Posted by ACW on March 29, 2005 4:36 PM (e)

I hereby nominate Professor Steve for the Nobel Medicine Prize in Literature. And also for the Nobel Prize in Mathematics.

Now I don’t want to hear anybody even mentioning Nobel nominee Dr. Steve without reminding everyone that he was nominated twice for a Nobel prize. Because he was nominated twice for a Nobel prize, you see.

Comment #22520

Posted by frank schmidt on March 29, 2005 6:49 PM (e)

Does the esteemed Professor count as two members of the Project Steve list?

Comment #22532

Posted by Glenn Branch on March 29, 2005 7:28 PM (e)

Syntax Error: mismatched tag 'quote'

Comment #22579

Posted by jonas on March 30, 2005 6:13 AM (e)

Good luck in catching up with the Professor,
he has been practicing Jog-Ging since his youth and following the ways of Mahayana-Escapism (dodging big cars).

Comment #22592

Posted by Bayesian Bouffant, FCD on March 30, 2005 8:33 AM (e)

Syntax Error: mismatched tag 'kwickxml'

Comment #22629

Posted by RBH on March 30, 2005 3:51 PM (e)

Reed wrote

…he recently received the Walker Prize for Walkabouts and has taken a sabbatical to travel the world exploring nature, academia, and the quality of beer in faraway places.

One might mention that many of those faraway places have strange sounding names, and some are over the sea.

RBH

Comment #22636

Posted by frank schmidt on March 30, 2005 5:01 PM (e)

B(squared) wrote

Two? Apparently you are not familiar with Prof. Dr. Steve’s full name, Stephen S. Steve.

Then presumably his Steve-number is the sum, rather than the cube, since 13= 1. Bill Dembski, please weigh in - it sounds like we’re giving Prof. S.S. Steve a free lunch (or is that the name of a boat?).

Comment #30096

Posted by Timothy Scriven on May 14, 2005 10:03 PM (e)

His new paper, #$@*$#@!! depth as a funding measure for the DI, has been fourty years in the making.

I’ve got a new motto for Anti ID brights, WWSSD? ( what would steve steve do?)